Balancing Children's Extracurricular Activities: Short-Term Dreams vs. Long-Term Goals

As parents, we often find ourselves at a crossroads when it comes to making decisions for our children. One such decision revolves around their extracurricular activities and how they can impact their development.

Recently, I've been pondering this very question as my two daughters, aged 8 and 4, are wrapping up another dance season. My oldest did one other dance season and ended up too sick to dance for her final recital. My younger one started just this year. On one hand, they love their dance classes, but on the other, I can't help but wonder if there are better options for their long-term growth and development.

It's not that I'm against dance, far from it. I did contemporary dance and ballet growing up. But it also did nothing for me in the long run. Dance can be a beautiful art form, and the discipline it instills is valuable. ..I guess. But I'm torn between allowing my children to indulge in their short-term passions and gently nudging them toward activities that offer more substantial long-term benefits.

Here's my perspective on the matter, and feel free to comment yours too:

The Pros of Dance Classes:

1. Discipline: Dance classes come with a structured routine, which is fantastic for teaching kids discipline. They learn to follow a schedule, practice diligently, and show up for their classes on time (mostly).

2. Expressiveness: Dance allows children to express themselves creatively. It encourages them to explore their emotions, which can be beneficial for their overall well-being.

3. Confidence: Performing in front of an audience, even if it's just during a class recital, can boost a child's self-esteem and confidence.

4. Cultural Awareness: Dance often introduces children to different cultures and traditions, promoting a broader worldview.

Oh but the Cons of Dance Classes:

1. Not Really Helping Flexibility: While dance certainly requires flexibility, it's not maintained by attending a single class per week. Flexibility is a skill that needs regular practice and even that one day per week is not guided.

2. Physical Fitness: Dance classes focus on specific movements and techniques, but they may not provide the cardio workout required for overall health. Team sports often incorporate a combination of endurance and strength, which can be more beneficial for a child's physical fitness.

3. Lacking Team Dynamics: Dance is often a solo or small group endeavor. While it encourages personal growth, it may not foster team dynamics and cooperation like team sports do. The ability to work effectively within a group is a crucial skill in life. Or even sacrificing your own moment in an event for the overall success of the team.

4. You're Not Actually Building Friendships: Dance classes tend to be more focused on instruction than social interaction. In contrast, team sports offer more opportunities for children to build friendships through shared experiences.

5. Financial Costs: Extracurricular activities, especially in the performing arts, can be expensive. Consider whether the investment aligns with your long-term goals for your child. Costumes alone are hundreds of dollars, they wear them once, and, as was in my case, may not wear it all if they miss their recital anyway.

So, how do we navigate this delicate balance between our children's short-term interests and long-term well-being? Here's what I'm dabbling with moving into the next school year:

1. Diversify Activities: Encourage your children to try a variety of activities. This exposes them to different skill sets and helps them discover their true passions. I really enjoy the YMCA and all the opportunities they have (including dance) but for a fraction of the cost.

2. Set Realistic Expectations: While it's essential to support your children's interests, it's also crucial to have open and honest conversations about the potential career paths and opportunities in their chosen activity. I definitely don't tell my kids they are dance prodigies but I do explain that there may be thing they don't know they like yet.

3. Balance Structure and Freedom: Ensure that your children have a healthy mix of structured activities, like dance, as well as activities that allow more flexibility and social interaction, such as team sports.

4. Promote Physical Fitness: Encourage regular physical exercise outside of structured activities, whether it's playing at the park, riding bikes, or taking family hikes. Physical health is essential for long-term well-being.

5. Friendships Matter: Encourage your children to build friendships in and out of their activities. These connections can be just as important as the skills they acquire. Although, this boils down to other parents as well putting in the effort.

In the end, the decision about whether to keep your children's extracurricular activities being something they want, like dance, or guide them towards something else, like a team spot, should reflect a balance between their current desires and your vision for their long-term development. After all, being a parent is about guiding our children toward a brighter future, even if it means making tough choices along the way. Ultimately, it's about finding the right balance that works for your family and ensures your children's growth and happiness.

What have you chosen for your kids?

With Gratitude,

Blaire